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Tuesday 19 September 2017

why we didn't want to find out the gender - for the second time



                                  


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Hey everyone!

Welcome to my latest blog; second trimester gender scan.

I can't quite believe I am now 19 weeks +1 and how quickly it seems to be flying by! I almost haven't had chance to give this pregnancy a second thought because the reality is all my time is taken up with being a wife, a working mum, and not forgetting my girlfriends! 

So first thing this morning, and all weekend we have been SO excited to see baby brown number 2 again since the first scan; all is looking healthy and happy, and so so clear! You forget how amazing technology is.

I wanted to do a blog for first time mummies who may be feeling pressured or unsure on finding out their baby gender. People now days seem so obsessed with the gender of a baby! Some go on about how they want a boy first and a girl second or they have dreamt of having all girls or all boys or one each blah blah it is endless...

Then there comes the thought process of wanting to do the nursery, wanting to purchase clothes, teddies, blankets etc all to the boy or girl colour theme.

and lets not even begin on the random people stopping you in the street ''Ohh do you know what your having?''

Then there's the family, friends, all saying ''Ohh go on just find out''

Hearing all of the above with hormones flying about in pregnancy is enough to cause doubts on some and their decision, but fact is it shouldn't. 

It comes no surprise how others assumed we would want to find out the baby gender this time as we didn't find out with our son Harry but those closest to us knew we would want the surprise all over again and here's why;

OK.... So first lets put some of these comments people make to bed;

''Ohhh don't you want to prepare? I would need to get everything ready''

Prepare for what - Their wardrobe? In today's modern next day delivery world at a click of a button you can log on to many many retailers website, one in particular Next for example (yep a favourite shop of mine for babies and kids!) and have ready an order of 1x basket full of blue stuff and 1x basket full of Pink! Home delivery - SORTED.

As for the washing side of clothes, who doesn't love a newborn in white for the first couple of days? With their new born poos and sickness you'll be changing their clothes like no tomorrow anyways so I promise you, you wont really care what colour their in!

''Ohhh I would want to get the nursery ready''

OK so I am never one to assume or judge but I would pretty much imagine majority of babies are either co sleeping with their mum or in their Moses basket and if anything like my little boy, he was in our room in his Moses basket for the first 11 weeks of his life.

It takes 2 days max to paint the nursery - the colour of the walls really isn't a big deal. 

OR if wanting to prepare in advance (as we did)  

Aren't the yellows/whites/beige/greys all just super cute for a newborns room?

''I just want the baby here now but they wasn't even in their 3rd trimester yet!''

I found through out my pregnancy the curiousness of not knowing kept me going which almost in a strange way allowed me to enjoy my pregnancy that little bit more, every now and again I would find I would have these moments of excitement to myself; this fire in my belly seeing one set of parents with a gorgeous baby boy or another announcing they've had a beautiful baby girl and wondering which set we would be - It was actually quite fun.

The weight gain, the tiredness, the headaches all wasn't I am afraid!!

THE REALITY IS;

Every parent hopes & dreams they are blessed with a healthy baby regardless of boy or girl. I totally respect and appreciate their are some parents out there that do have their heart set on having one more than the other, but there are also some parents who generally hand on heart don't mind either way - yes they really do exist. We are all so different in life, and thank god because it would be so boring if we were all the same. 

Its okay to admit one is just impatient and wants to find out, just as it is OK one wanting to find out as a first time mum or if its their 5th baby! But I wont lie I get so excited when people tell me they're having a surprise as I know the moments ahead for them that may be similar to our first few seconds of welcoming your unknown gender new born baby into the world.

Regardless whether you find out or not, the moment you give birth is a moment you won't ever forget, but one part in particular that will always stand out for me was the moment between my husband and I, a moment I will keep forever; as soon as Harry came out of the water Chris instantly saw he was boy, it was moment he gasped out to me ''its a boy!'' full of emotion, happiness, relief and the special surprise that NO ONE else knew before us two. It was a intimate moment, a closeness between us as husband and wife that no one else was a part of. It was like knowing you was going to be getting this gift, that you had always wanted, you had waited for 9 whole months, wondering pink or blue but then having it both at the same time; the baby and the moment of finding out if it was boy or girl and it is exactly that moment we want to relive all over again.

You don't get many surprises in life so go with your heart, and not what you may feel others or society push you into!

Pregnancy is a beautiful journey so enjoy it how you want to remember it

Love the happy balance mum x


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