Hey all,
welcome to this weeks blog post, I feel now that Matilda is 14 weeks old it's given me enough time to really know what life is like with 2, or at least a very very good idea. Were over the whole adapting to a family of 4 and routine is now in place for us. (blog post on this if you fancy a read!) But when pregnant I had all sorts running through my mind, how would I breast feed with a toddler - Once got the hang of things, I really enjoyed feeding my first so I was adamant I wanted to feed my second, breast feeding to me is one of the best things in the world, its quick, convenient, free & best of all for me it creates a special precious bond with my baby, so it had got me thinking how was this possible to achieve with a toddler running around? Then there was the thought of how would I be able to share my time equally so that my toddler wouldn't notice too much of a difference, then lets not even begin on could I love another child the amount I do Harry. But the funny thing is now when I look back all those thoughts literally feel as if they didn't exist, like did I actually even think those? Yes I did, a hell of a lot but now in reality boy was I silly because the ''second time'' round is like driving a car, you just don't forget and if anything handling my baby has been so much easier than I thought.
I know what my babies cries are for; with Harry hell did I know, hunger, from wind, from tired, from cold, from warm. I literally had no idea what his cries were for but just went with it and trusted my instinct, sometimes it was wrong, sometimes it was right! I remember I couldn't bear to hear him cry in his car seat when driving so if I was driving or if Chris was, no joke, I wouldn't care where we was I would pull over, get him out and literally start to breast feed in my car on the side of the road. In those early weeks it was like every car journey that I done this.. Yup, I may sound ridiculous but I presumed he was hungry, hungry, hungry so I would feed and off we go again, was he hungry or just wanted comfort? I didn't know that back then! This time however Wow, it couldn't be further from what I have just told you. When I think back I am literally doing what the lady emoji does and putting her hand over her whole face, or roll my eyes & I say to my hubby all the time ''I cant believe I kept pulling over with Harry and just feeding him the boob every time he cried'' LOL - Now I know all babies are different, but with Matilda's cry when in the car I can tell straight away, aahhh its a cry for being tired she'll go off to sleep in a minute, ohhh shes too hot so I will pull her hat or blanket off, or she needs a burp, I can hand on heart say this time round I have pulled over once to take her out give her a back rub and out came a big burp. For comfort I always put the muslin cloth I feed with next to her face so she can still smell me when in the car and it works a treat! The second time round you seem to just know if your baby is bored, restless, over tired, hungry, cold/warm.. You are so much more relaxed on how to handle their needs, how I don't know but the first baby gave me my practice run!
Outfits & Milestones; I couldn't wait to get Harry in all these cool and cute outfits it literally felt just moments he was in baby grows, Matilda is still in all her baby grows 14 weeks later and I will keep her cosy in them for as long as I can, she has her whole child hood for outfits! The same thing goes with milestones, I couldn't wait for Harry to do the next NEW thing, I had no idea that really I should of been cherishing those precious small baby moments, Matilda my sweet girl take your time there is no rush, stay my baby for as long as you can!
Time keeping; I am actually better with time keeping now with TWO children than I was one. I wont lie some days I am like a crazy woman falling out the front door but one way or another we are out. But the days I would hang around because Harry was taking a nap, or I would get back at a certain time in case he got hungry as I wasn't confident back then to feed in public looking back it was all just sooooo time consuming!!! I felt like the first time round I wouldn't completely relax when out and about because I was too concerned about where I could feed but with the second one I feed any where and everywhere sometimes in a costa whilst having a coffee sometimes on a bench in the middle in the busy shopping centre!! Breast feeding the first time round gave me all the experience for the confidence I needed for the second. With my first I would pick certain times of the day for appointments or to meet friends to work around the baby - I mean what the hell was I thinking? Now as for choosing times for doctors/hair/dental whatever appointments or meeting friends I literally go with what suits our family life because I HAVE TOO! I don't have time to ''hang around'' like I did with Harry. If Matilda is sleeping and I need to leave the house I will pick her up and put her in her car seat and go, and guess what... She continues to sleep because its now what she is used too, HELL NO would I of done that with Harry which was stupid of me because I would be sat there 2 hours later!!!! I honestly feel my second will be less of a demanding child, some of you reading may laugh and think I don't know whats to come as I have heard many of times ''if I had my second baby first I wouldn't of had another'' I can't help but think this saying comes because actually some may not have as much patience to go through ALL those toddler tantrums a second time round, the lack of sleep is do able with one child, but with two its a game changer all together, there is no such thing as sleep when the baby sleeps, the milestones have all been done with the first one so may not seem as exciting, awful to say but true, we all know what's ahead. And of course obviously we don't have that spare hand or moment to ourselves because we have another child to attend too! So is it really because the second child is the ''naughty one'' I could be wrong and regret writing this part ha ha we will see when Matilda gets to that age but a lot of what I have listed I feel plays as part in that way of thinking.. I am still game for a third! Anyway's due to all NON cooing cooing and being picky for choosing times & of course because the second doesn't have a choice, I am actually much more relaxed in working this way as all remains the same for our family life therefore the second slots in just great - What was I even worrying about?
Noises/Sleeping/General behavior; Aaahhh this one is a good one, so when Harry was a newborn I remember I would constantly worry (and don't get me wrong still at 14 weeks I will always have a quick check and will often wake in the night even when Matilda is asleep! Its mothers instinct - I think? Lol) was Harry ok, was he too hot? Was he too cold? Oohhh he hasn't fed for this amount of time blah blah blahh. You literally question everything about their behavior, and then you go and google it all and read forums upon forums of stuff but the fact is the second time round you just know that babies will wake if their hungry, they will wake if their cold, trust that elbow when testing the bath water, you DO NOT NEED the digital thermometer to tell you the water temp Lol - its ok! Just relax. I remember when Matilda was 3 days old and I was building up my milk supply up, she had been asleep from 3pm and still hadn't woke by 10pm. I knew I was going to bed, so personally there was no way that young I was going to leave her with no feed, my first born had jaundice and took 3 weeks to clear! & also I wanted to get my milk in so I lifted her out the basket, fed her, winded her, put her back down and went to bed & got some well earned rest. Now with Harry I know I would of no doubt just sat up waiting for him to wake which would of meant no rest for me which is never good the next day with 2 kids!! My point here is to just do what feels right for you, some would say don't wake a sleeping baby and I do agree with that in some respect but once they're of an age, I wouldn't wake Matilda now & shes 14 weeks.
Breast feeding is DREAMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeeeehhh, omg with my first I was constantly googling about latching on and watching you tube videos, I took him every 2 weeks to get weighed. Harry was such a happy baby and always gained weight yet I was so obsessive about him being on the boob ''properly'' and different positions to feed him in. He would be feeding and I would still be googling stuff about babies being on the breast. The second time has been so so easy, when pregnant I watched one you tube video just for curiousness, once she had arrived minutes after giving birth I just popped her on the boob and fed away. I honestly believe the fact I have not worried about all the breast feeding scenarios that I did the first time it has made my breast feeding journey so much more enjoyable. What isnt so dreamy is when Matilda is on the boob and I have Harry telling me he needs a poo poo, I am still working on being a pro multi tasker but I will leave that for another day haha.
Last but not least, trust your own experiences/instinct. Advice from others is nice in some ways but awful in others. For people who are natural worriers or take things to heart/easily offended my advice is actually just don't listen to others at all - Its your baby. If you want to cuddle your baby to sleep then do it, if you want to be a bit more care free with your routine then do it, because do you know what, those newborn moments don't last for ever, be relaxed and stress free as possible. All the sayings of ''your making a rod for your own back '' Put the baby down they will want to be in your arms for ever'' I listened to that advice with my first, and do you know I wanted so badly my baby to fall asleep in my arms sometimes for those sleepy snuggles but he never would, he wanted to be put down for his naps all the time - Which ultimately yes that is what I wanted but I also did want those cuddles of him in my arms, was that coincidence? who knows? But I can assure you now a second time round some days I will put Matilda in her cot for her naps but for 1 out of 3/4 of her naps where I can I will hold her and let her sleep on my shoulder, I love those cuddles because having a 2 year old toddler I now know how quickly they grow up so for the ''second time'' round even on the days that have been hard, tiring or perhaps didn't go to plan, take a breathe and treasure and enjoy every moment you possibly can, I have blinked and Matilda is 3 months old already!
Lots of Love xxxxxxxx
